There must be a scarcity in me, in my character. And this is the reason perhaps why people secretly ignore me. No I'm not one of that attention seekers who intentionally do mistakes in order to grab criticism. However my mistakes are undaunted, I deliberately do mistakes to make myself free. Free from any criticism or any judgment. I couldn't be somebody's best person, I believe there must be a reason behind it. Yesterday I was watching a YT Video where a famous vlogger revealed for the first time about his love interest.
He spoke out her name and eventually exposed her picture. And he declared that it's not an overnight story, it took long 6 years to have such faith in their relationship. They are now pretty sure of themselves and of the relationship. So that he, in front of thousand millions of people delineated his love story with her.
He added in this same video that she is his strength, his "backbone". That is my point of today's discussion. Though people know me love me and I'm blessed for everything that I have achieved till now, there is always a gap. This gap defines my deficiency. I couldn't be somebody's "
backbone", then why I'm expecting that particular love. Love from thousands, I guess, is easy to achieve if you are a kind hearted person, but love from a single individual is not easy to have. There is a lot of expenditures, that one needs to understand before they really expect love in return. Only loving is not enough. Exploiting the self is necessary too. For the person you love, you must spend. Money is not the only thing that you could spend, rather it is one of them. I believe the most important thing that one can spend for love in order to have love in return is time, that makes priorities.
Yet time is not enough too. If they are not interested, or, rather have some selfish interests, you will lose the game even though you spend everything on them. Some say it's fate that decides for whom we are made. Yet, from birth to death it's a short story to tell. And thousand characters we have to play. Nobody knows what comes next. Yet we believe in fate.
Prioritization of something or someone has some specific traits. Different individuals have different aspects. They impart essence to those things they need most. And ignore the rest. Again, essence of an individual always depends upon his relationship with others. To make those relations work out we need to sacrifice ourselves.
A selfish person never becomes someone's favorite. And so am I. My mother says we need to love full-fledgedly for the reciprocation of love indeed. But she must understand this doesn't work anymore. I'm incapable now of loving everything except the things deeply connected with me. I'm avoiding overthinkings. Yet, I'm happy to be selfish.
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